My Daughter: Your body. Your choice.

I’m sitting across from my 16 year old daughter on her bed that is on the floor. She decided she didn’t want a bed frame. I have no idea why not, but I pick my battles. One being the dried food in a bowl beside her bed. “Take that to the kitchen. It’s gross!”  I tell her slightly frustrated. She laughs, but complies. I feel like everyday of motherhood has become more complex as she heads full force into womanhood. Simple things like teaching her the ABCs has evolved into complex things like what it means to become a woman in today’s society. I will pause here and make sure everyone knows I am a Christian. I’m probably one of the most flawed women you will ever meet, but I’ve been saved by the grace of God and I do my best to live out my faith everyday, this includes mothering my only child. My daughter. Back to my story,  we continue to lie in her bed surrounded by the clutter that doesn’t seem visible to her. I make it a point to come in her room before bed and just chat with her in the evenings.  It’s during these times we both feel at ease and the conversation flows easily. That is not always the case. As she has grown and tried to establish who she is I’ve felt her gently pushing me away. It’s a completely normal thing, I suppose. I mean we all do it. We grow, we stretch, and eventually we outgrow and become independent of the people who gave us life. As normal as it may be... it is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to face in my adult life. I guess that is another blog post. I think this space, her bedroom, is her domain. It’s a safe place and one where she does feel comfortable talking bluntly, so I step over the dirty laundry, I ignore the empty chip bag in the floor, and I sit with her in this place and we talk. 

Tonight we are going over the events of the day and her eyes get big, “Momma. I forgot to tell you. A girl at school sent a nude photo and it got shared today. She was really upset. I felt really bad for her.”  My heart sinks and I say a little prayer for this girl. I don’t know her situation, but I know her life is in turmoil this very moment and I want to hug her. I want to tell her that she made a mistake, but we all make them. I want her to know that this moment will pass and it will be okay. I also bite my tongue as I want to jump into the whole speech with Hannah about not sending anything on your phone you wouldn’t want put on a billboard. However, I’ve learned that kind of reaction creates frustration and leads to what I call a “shutdown”. A shutdown is where my daughter feels like I think she is stupid and can’t think for herself. It’s a moment where she stops sharing because she doesn’t want another lecture... one she has heard before. So, I just reply with sympathy and continue to listen. 

A few moments pass and the topic is still on my heart. How can I help her process this? What can I say that will resonate with her heart. I want her to understand that I too was a young girl, eager to fit in. I wanted to be beautiful and for boys to think I was “hot”. This youthful stage of life is filled with curiosity and fueled by hormones. Heck, I’m almost 40 years old and I still very much understand hormones. I have a smoking hot sex life with my husband. Is that too much information? Well, probably not in today’s society where nothing is off limits. I share this very personal tidbit because it’s important for people to understand that you can be a Christian woman who values modesty and still have a very passionate love affair with your husband. It’s important that as a mother I help my daughter understand this part of her, this desire she has, is not bad. Sex is a gift God gave us. It is a way to connect to your husband in a way that you can’t connect with any other human being. It is pleasurable. It is beautiful. It is sacred. So I do my best to broach the subject and pour my heart out to this beautiful young woman who God has entrusted me with. 

“Hannah. You are a strong, intelligent, beautiful young woman. You have the right to do whatever you want with your life and your body.  It’s yours and you are fully in control of the choices you make”.  I pause and look for her reaction. She is listening intently. I can see that she likes the direction this conversation is going. There is a bit of confidence and willfulness in her eyes. This statement has empowered her as it should. I continue, “With that right also comes a responsibility.“ She briefly looks down and blinks. We are at a crossroad. I silently ask God to take over my words and to open her heart. 

The words start to flow from me and I know that they are a mixture of love and raw honesty. You see her body is hers and she can make any choice she wants, but every choice she makes will come with consequences. Those consequences can range from physical to emotional, most likely a mixture of both. In a world set on telling my daughter that she can do whatever she wants with her body  through sexualized songs, TV shows, and social media celebrities pushing a constant message of empowerment through exploitation,  I must sit here and tell her it’s all garbage. All of it. 

You see in a world who profits from making her feel like her value is in her physical body stripped down and on display for approval I have to remind her that her value is found in God. I have to be the one who explains to her that she can go on keto, do crunches until her stomach cramps, and sacrifice all of her time and energy to achieve a rocking hot body to gain the approval of this world, but she will never find true fulfillment and will actually be left empty if she needs men to want her and other women to envy her body. 

I stop and tell her about my love story with her dad. I tell her that when her dad and I first met he thought I was beautiful and I’m certain his hormones kicked it, (gross mom), but the way he looked at me was one of genuine love. He wanted to hear my thoughts and know the goals I had for my life. He wanted to build a relationship with me that had nothing to do with sex. When I was with him I felt like the most beautiful girl in the world. We built a strong foundation for the love affair that would come.  I want her to understand, without a doubt, that the best decision I ever made was to have one lover, her father. 

I go on to explain that I know my opinion, in an ocean of opinions that directly contradict it,  is most certainly the unpopular one. I encourage her to feed her body healthy foods and to care for her physical body along with her spiritual health. I remind her that no matter what she chooses I will love her always. I end the conversation by making sure she understands with any right or wrong choice one will most certainly face the consequences both good and bad. I make sure she understands that the young boy she will marry, out there in this world right now, has an equal responsibility to make good choices and I hope his parents are teaching him the things I am trying to instill in her. 

I pray that she finds value in herself outside of the things this world values. I hope if I teach her nothing else I teach her to stand up for what is right even when this world makes fun of her for it. Because at the end of the day she has to live with the consequences of her choices. No one else. 

I love Proverbs 31:25 as cliche as it may be. I pray for my daughters future daily and I know that she is a child of God. No matter what she faces my heart is calmed by this knowledge. 

Budgeting the Jodie Way

Okay.  Budgeting. A word most people love as much as dieting because they both require some pre-planning and discipline.  I’m only really great at the pre-planning part. The discipline part hurts.  LOL

I want to start by saying again, I am no financial expert.  Seriously. I’ve had no training in this area other than some really tough OJT.  The school of hard knocks I suppose.  So, with that said if you are some financial wizard with a degree in finance this ain’t the blog post for you.  Also, for everyone else… please know this is not scientific (lol) so take any tips that help you.  If you need real help with finances, please consult someone who knows what they are doing. 

As many of you know James and I started life out together with pretty much less than $1.00 in our checking account that first week back from our honeymoon.  Neither of us had been taught a lot about budgeting.  My parents never budgeted (and it showed).  James parents did, but he relied heavily on them to take his check, pay for things, and give him spending money.  That worked really well for him as a young man, but after we married it was difficult to put all the pieces together, not to mention we were poor, so the pieces were limited.  This is also why I am very passionate about teaching Hannah.  She knows our income.  She knows our bills.  She knows how we budget and why we do it. 

Fast forward twenty years, a lot of unexpected catastrophes from illness to job loss and a lot of successes we have been able to learn the importance of budgeting and really what works for us. A few things in my budgeting is from Dave Ramsey’s plan.  However, zero balanced budget is very rigorous and hard to stay consistent with.  Again, it’s like being a strict diet.  You feel like if you mess up one time then to heck with it! So, I learned for us that slow and steady would win the race.  I will say that if we do make a credit purchase, which Dave’s plan frowns upon, I will go into a temporary “snowball” mode to pay if off as quickly as possible. Overall avoid credit, but it is a part of our society and most people do utilize it. So instead of just saying, “You suck if you have a credit balance” I say just be smart.  

James and I get paid biweekly on the same day.  I used to hate this because at one time we were paid opposite, and it felt like it was “easier” to pay the bills that way.  It really wasn’t.  It just helped me to be more disciplined with our spending because I didn’t have it in the account all at once to spend.  I know that sounds horrible, but it’s true.  Being paid all at once can lead you to have a big lump sum in your account and that makes you feel more comfortable splurging.  So, because of that behavior I had to really sit down and look at a bigger picture.  Again, with no experience that can be hard.  Like when someone tells you to “just push away from the table” when you voice a need to lose weight; one might say “just pay your bills”.  Well, it takes a little more planning and again discipline to do that in a way that will serve your family in the long run.

That is really what it is all about.  Serving your family.  I have horrible anxiety.  I think in a way that condition serves me well when it comes to money because I am always prepared for the worst.  Seriously, I think about loss of job, illness, and death on a daily.  So, when I go to purchase something, I factor in the anxiety that will accompany the monthly payments and that keeps me in check. James doesn’t share this with me.  LOL.  He is more of a big item spender.  I am more of a “piddler spender”. I will $5, $10, and $15 us to death.  Sometimes I wish I was more like him because at least he has some cool new gadget to show for the money he spends.  I have a room of old lamps.  Seriously.  It is important to assess your relationship with money.  What kind of spender are you? What are you okay doing without and what is something you are more impulsive about? For me, travel is huge.  Like I become a millionaire if the topic of planning a trip comes up.  Sure! Book the condo! Book the flight! Just do it! Lets see some place we’ve never seen before, I say while wearing my 10 year old jeans, Wal-Mart t-shirt, and off brand Toms I got at Target on clearance.  You see I could care less about name brand clothes.  I’ve come to understand these habits about myself, James, and Hannah.  They know mine.  This way we can all three keep each other in check. 

The last thing I will talk about before sharing the budget is the allowance.  This seems to intrigue most people who know we do this.  I must give credit where it is due.  Cornelius Hall is the person who started me on allowances probably 16 years ago.  I was working as a Case Manager, and I am sure I was complaining about my husband purchasing something I hadn’t budgeted for back in the days when a bottled drink purchase would have put us in the negative! LOL.  He turned around, in the most Cornelius way, and said, “Jodie a grown man who works shouldn’t have to call his wife for permission to buy a coke.  The same way you should have some money that is yours too”. He went on to explain how he and his wife would budget an allowance each week.  That money would be like a recurring bill they factored in up front.  They cash is withdrawn, given to that person, and they do as they choose with it.  It was genius! So, we started this, and it really made a huge difference.  I think only last year did I give us a cost of living raise.  Also, this helps to cut down on a crazy bank transaction register/ statement.  That log should be as clean as possible so you can really see where you are spending your money outside of bills.  I promise when you start the allowance, you will quickly see where you are bleeding money… it’s the small purchases that add up.  

Okay the budget (Jodie’s kinda made up method):

• Add up ALL your expenses. Note I didn’t say bills.  You need to sit down and do an honest calculation of every single penny you spend.  Include your recurring bills, utilities, living expenses, right down to the toilet paper.  This may hard as you’ve always just bought these things without really considering the cost.  I mean everyone must have TP, so why stress over it.  Well, you need to know how much it cost you to live… ALL of it.
• Determine your bring home.  So, this can be hard as well.  If you are salaried you pretty much know your bring home.  If you are hourly and have the option to work overtime, it can vary.  James works a lot of overtime.  My method here is that we only use base salary.  I never project a budget with overtime factored in. More about projected budget soon.
• The next step when you first start is a little scary.  What is the difference?  Are you bringing home more than you are spending?  Seems like a crazy question, but if you’ve factored in everything you will notice that the number you thought were your bills is a lot less than your actual expenses.  If you then go back and add up all the small charges you aren’t accounting for on top of that your difference in bring home and spending may look bleak.  Don’t worry… slow and steady wins the race.  If that number is not what you want it to be you need to go look at everything that is not essential, all the unaccounted for spending, and anything else you can remove from the equation and do just that.  Stop it.  Stop the cable, stop the Netflix, stop the in-app purchases and movie rentals.  Stop the fast food.  Just stop it all.  It sucks and your family will hate you.  Welcome to budgeting. LOL.  It is only temporary as you get your hands around things. 
• Once you have your numbers and you’ve eliminated the unnecessary spending you need to come up with an allowance for each family member.  That number is up to you according to the amount of money you have to work with.  You may start small then give raises for financial milestones met.  Make it fun (as fun as possible).  The allowance will give some freedom back to your family members and will make budgeting easier for you in the long run as you run your numbers with each session.  This is so important.  IF YOU SPEND YOUR ALLOWANCE YOU GET NO MORE UNTIL THE ALLOTED TIME.  PERIOD. So brown bag that lunch and drink from the water fountain.  Eventually you will learn to make it last. 
• Set up a schedule that you will budget.  I do this bi-weekly on payday.  
• For this process I do the following. I have a mutli-tab spreadsheet.

• Tab 1 is all our expenses and their due day each month; if it credit I have a pay off amount and projected pay off date with it. This lets me know where I am at with paying things like our house and cars off completely.  It helps me to determine where I want to put extra money for fast pay off.  DR will always encourage you to choose the smallest amount to pay off first regardless of interest.  In most cases I agree with that. I gray out any loan/ credit line I’ve paid off, but keep it visible as a reminder to not partake in credit… It reminds me of the hard work I put in to eliminate that bill which encourages me to keep my money in my account😊

• Tab 2 is a ledger that I have formulas set up on.  I basically have formatted this sheet to currency and can easily add my + and – amounts to easily balance my funds each session.  At this point I am aware of what I have in my checking and when I can make an extra payment towards a credit line and/or move money to savings.  I like to keep a certain amount in the checking account for easy access

• Tip: If you suffer from poor self-control, as most of us do, do NOT link your savings to your checking.  Make it really hard to get to your savings.

• I also project two weeks in advance on this tab.  I keep it at two weeks because moving out past that the numbers start to be a little off and you don’t want to give yourself a false sense of security; especially until you adjust to budgeting. You will not meet budget at first, folks.  It will take some adjustments so be patient. 

• Tab 3 long term projections/ goals.  This tab is a little more removed from reality.  But it gives me a goal to shoot for.  So, if I follow a strict budget, I could be here in 6 months to a year.  It can help with long term debt pay off plans and also helps you to see where you need to be if you are saving for something like a family vacation (please budget this in… yes add it up, and break it down to a monthly payment so you have cash to pay for it- If possible. If not just plan for any credit you use in your long-term plans).

• Tab 4 overages- more to come on that

• Each budget session you will:
• Review your projections for the period
• Input the actual currency amounts- bring home and expenses for the period
• Pay all the required expenses for the period
• Make a determination of any extras you want to pay (if you can) and/or move money to savings
• Update your projections for the following two weeks
• VERY IMPORTANT- calculate any overages or unplanned expenses for the budgeting period
• Input those into your overages tab line by line and label them (food, entertainment,
• Sort and group them to determine how much you went over your projected budget and on what
• This allows you to start seeing where 
• UNPLANNED money is going so you can hold yourself accountable and stop.

That is it.  I think.  I hope this helps.  Remember that it will get easier with time.  As you get disciplined and pay things off you will have more room to wiggle.  You will start really appreciating being proactive and not reactive to things.  When you get comfortable then consider investments and such.  

Also when you can…use your 401K, HSA, and GIFT plans if those are options for you.  These really help put money away pre-tax and keeps it earmarked for important things that you need in life. It may take a little time, but those should be “next steps” before investments and such. 

Expenses/ pay off plan tab

Item	Due Day	Payment Amt	Type	Pay off Balance	Payoff Plan
House	1	$x.00	Mortgage	$x.00	15 years
Car	10	$x.00	Vehicle	$x.00	2 years
Entergy	15	$x.00	Utility	NA	Recurring

Ledger

Date	Item	Amount	Balance
10-Dec	Income	($x.00)	($x.00)
12-Dec	Expense	($x.00)	($x.00)
14-Dec	Expense	($x.00)	($x.00)
16-Dec	Expense	($x.00)	($x.00)

The goal sheet is a combination of the two with associated goals. 

Overages- this may be a movie rental, grocery budget overage, or fast food, etc. 

Amount	Type
5.38	Entertainment
2.99	Entertainment
15.38	Food
16.11	Food

So here you can group and see trends in your unplanned spending. You can do by period, month, quarterly, etc.

I do charts, but Im a bit of a nerd. Sooo… I’ll skip that part. LOL

Happy budgeting. 

• 
  

Foreign Territory: We've Been Here Before

I pull into our long driveway in silence.  No cars are parked in the drive.  I push the button and the garage door slowly retracts.  Sandy cat strolls up from the deck with a long stretch, looking more perturbed that I’ve broken his slumber, than happy to see me.  He tangles himself in between my ankles as a reminder that he is hungry.  I stop and fill up his bowl.  The puppies are going crazy.  Their enthusiasm for my return seems a little more authentic.  Buddy is genuinely happy I am home. Bean just wants me to fill his bowl too.  After all the animals are fed I look around.  I can see where you left in a hurry this morning.  Packages from your on the go breakfast and lunch are left behind.  I pick up your mess gladly.  I load the dishwasher.  It seems that this is what is left of motherhood, or what I have defined motherhood to be. 

From the moment they handed you to me I have felt immense happiness and a deep anxiety.  Some mothers may not understand that second part.  Anytime you hear women talk about having children they share the happiness part, but some are ashamed to talk about the anxieties this incredible role places on a person; on a mother.  One day I drove to the hospital, just me, a normal young woman who had never considered the absolute terror of being responsible for another human being.  I left the hospital a “mother”.  There was no test to pass.  There wasn’t a competency checklist.  No one walked in before I left and said, “Okay you are good to take her home.  We feel like you are acceptably competent to raise this human being.  You are by no means proficient.  We’ve included study materials for that.  But, we don’t think you’ll kill her. Sign here.”  Nope! They just handed you to me with some discharge paperwork and took me to the car.  Dad was walking quietly behind me. 

I still recall the way the harsh sunlight hit my face when they wheeled me out of the hospital.  I immediately looked down to see if the sun was in your eyes and adjusted your blanket.  Luckily that occurred instinctually.  I watched as dad nervously adjusted the car seat.  We worked and worked to get you clicked in safely.  Finally we were loaded up.  Dad was in the front seat and I was strapped in beside you.  I looked up and saw dad’s eyes in the rearview mirror.  He was just as terrified as me, but was putting on a strong face.  You know dad.  We left the circle drive and hit a bump.  My C-section incision seared with pain, but I didn’t care.  I looked at you.  Were you okay?  Did that wake you up?  Your tiny head was slumped over the car seat strap; your underdeveloped neck muscles too weak to hold it up.  I reached down and gently pushed it back.  I held your head up the whole way home. 

Home.  The house I walked back into seemed so foreign.  Everything was just as we left it, but none of it felt familiar.  I didn’t know where to set you down.  I didn’t know where to sit once I picked you up out of the car seat.  I just stood there so…unsure.  Hours turned to days and days to weeks.  Mothering during the infant years was the hardest for me.  Listening to all the other mothers, old and young, I should know how to decipher your cries.  I would know when it was hunger, sleepiness, or pain.  I didn’t.  It was just crying and I would have done anything to sooth you.  I think I got my stride eventually. Dad says I did.  I probably worried and read more books on mothering than anyone else who has ever given birth to a child.  I wanted to mother you perfectly.  If it was considered best practice, well that was what we were practicing.  Looking back I am sure your enjoyed the short reprieves from my over-mothering when you stayed with Maw and Aunt Robin.  Those visits were filled with ease of atmosphere, yummy unhealthy foods, and lots of laughs.  Part of me was terrified to what you were exposed to, but there was a part of my heart that was so thankful for this.  I knew you needed it and it just wasn’t something I could give.  I couldn’t give it because in my mind to be the best mother I had to follow every rule that pointed to what was right.

Right.  You are 16 now and this term as it applies to mothering is laughable.  What in the world is right? Who knows?  Who cares?  Right is not a standard that applies to all children across the board.  Right is something so dynamic based on the people involved.  In our little world those people are dad, you, and me.  Our right can be and is so very different than the right of other families we know.  The beautiful thing about a family is that love is always right and we’ve got so much of that.  I wish I would have known this sooner.  I wish I wouldn’t have stressed out and stressed you out over the stupidest things.  I wouldn’t have freaked out over the homework assignments you didn’t quite understand.  I wouldn’t have been so hard on you for being too talkative in class.  I wouldn’t have forced you to take piano when you made it clear you didn’t like it.  I would have let you pick out more outfits because they made you feel pretty and not because I thought they were cute and made you look like a kid that came from a “good home”.  I wanted people to know that.  I wanted you to be proud of who you were and who I was.  I wanted to be proud of it.

So much of the silliness I inflicted on you over the years came from some deep insecurities developed in my childhood.  I wanted so badly to be like the little girls that came from good homes.  I wanted your outfits to match and have pretty little bows to go with each of them.  If I could do it all over again I would have let you wear that same dress 3 or 4 times a week.  The one that made you feel like a princess.  I would have let you wear the worn out white church sandals with the heel and the missing rhinestones everyday.  I would have done that because I feel like maybe I took away a little bit of what makes you Hannah over the years.  I toned you down and pushed you in a box that the mother’s in our community created.  I can’t be mad at them. After all they created that box for the same reason I tried to jam you into it.  They loved their daughters; however misguided that can be.  Luckily you retained some of the things that make you magical.  The other night when I kissed your forehead and told you how glad I was that God made you just as you are, your respond made me smile.  “Mom.  I think God knew exactly what you needed when he made me.  That is why I am the way I am.”  You are so wise.  You are not perfect, but gosh you are so very close. 

Lately you have made some very grown up decisions and I am blown away when you explain why you made them.  They are well thought out and intelligent. They give me hope that when you do leave our home for college you will be more than prepared to handle whatever life throws your way.  You have made your commitment to God so apparent during these teenage years.  I know there are things you struggle with.  I know you have big questions and life is hard during this season.  Heck, life is hard in every season.  You always find a way to surprise me with how you process it all and then decisively do what you know to be right, by God, and for you.  You do this with minimal instruction from me.  So I do thank God for you and I thank him for knowing what I needed in a daughter. 

You will always be my baby.  I know I say that to you all the time, but that love and anxiety that I felt the day they handed you to me, and every milestone you’ve come up against and conquered, is still very present in my heart.  Sure it has changed as the obstacles of each season of life have changed for both of us.  My worries now center on everything I might of done wrong.  Have I prepared you enough? Are you ready to graduate and actually move out of this home I’ve spent so many years making for you? Not only do I worry if you will make it, because I kind of know you will, after all you are too smart not to.  What I really about is… will you flourish? Will you find a great group of friends to lean on? Will you find a college church group that you love attending and continue to grow in your faith? Will you love college and find a career path that brings you joy and purpose, but still support you financially? 

As you continue to mature, into this young woman before me, I cant help but look around this big empty house, reminisce on the day that I brought you home, and think to myself… how did this happen?  I simultaneously ponder on the journey behind us, the amazing life we celebrate each day, and the future before us.  I am a little disoriented. I must admit that this part of motherhood feels strangely like the first days I brought you home.  I look around and it is our home.  It’s all our things, yet the people who fill it aren’t sitting in their places.  It is foreign to me.  You are out living your busy life, and I love that.  But some days after the animals are fed and the dishes are loaded in the dishwasher I just don’t know where to sit down.  I don’t know what to cook for dinner.  I don’t know how to best mother you right now.  A clumsy dance of hold on and let go ensues.  I don’t know what the perfect response is to this season of motherhood is.  What is that..Perfect? Yes, I I know.  I agreed to let that concept go.  But you know me, kiddo. You know me better than anyone else could. 

It Was Burgers and Fries and Cherry Pies

The bright orange sun reflected in the tiny dust particles that flew from under the tires of the old Chevy truck.  My body jostled about as we hit the large potholes in the old dirt road leading to my Paw’s simple farm home.  The cotton was in full bloom, and it made it appear as a fresh dusting of snow had fallen across the farm fields, but the sweltering August heat quickly reminded you that it was indeed not wintertime.  As I pulled up I caught a glimpse of a little red headed boy with freckles wearing tuff nuts jeans with the knees patched and a pull over shirt yelling “Annie over” toward the roof.  For a moment I was puzzled, but then I saw a green ball whiz over the roof. He caught it, and I heard an echo of the same thing yelled back to him.  He launched the ball over hoping to make contact with his sister on the other side.  The sun had barely had time to rise, and he had already gathered the eggs and done some work in the family garden.  It was time now to head to Steele Elementary for school.  It would be quite a hike, but one he made daily.  He grabbed his packed lunch and prized possession, a bag of shiny marbles.  He was hopeful to come home with more, but knew it was possible to return empty handed.  Playing marbles was serious business when you played for keeps.

            When he arrived at the schoolyard they had a bit of time before the reading lesson started. His buddy challenged him to a game of marbles. When it was all said and done, he had kept all of his marbles and gained four more of the other boys.

They arrived to class still a bit rowdy from the game of marbles. It was a nail biter, and already being compared to the infamous match played three years ago, when a fourth grader cleaned everyone out completely. His teacher, who he claimed to be at least two hundred and eighteen years old, approached her desk from the back of the class. She noticed that the he was not doing as he was told and gave him a swift hard whack across his knuckles with the ruler that seemed to be permanently attached to her right hand. He rubbed his hand and grumbled under his breath.  Hopefully she wouldn’t tell his parents when she saw them next.  His behind would be much more sore than his knuckles from the spanking his dad would give him for misbehaving in class.  When he was a boy you respected adults, especially your teachers.  He reached into his wooden desk and retrieved his favorite book. He opened the history book that he had read over several times, but still couldn’t put it down. He loved the book so much because the pages came alive with stories of real people, and told the story of the past.  Books were not easy to come by, but he didn’t mind as long as he could read the fascinating stories in his history book, his favorite lesson. He doesn’t have any books at home; he can’t afford them and frankly doesn’t have time while working in the cotton fields once he returned home.  Other than school the only time for reading was a rare visit to the library. His teacher began her lesson for the day they would be discussing the current commander and chief, Dwight D. Eisenhower.

School was coming to an end for the day, but there was still lots to be done.  Upon returning home he would head straight to the fields and start his job of picking cotton and carrying water for the farm hands.  This job earned him a whopping 40 cents per hour.  It seemed like a fair wage to a nine-year-old boy with nothing who wanted something as simple as a 5-cent candy bar.  There was no such thing as minimum wage during this time in history.  People today would riot if expected to endure such labor with barely any reimbursement.  At the very least they would refuse to do the work.

It was finally Friday.  His favorite time of day was upon him, lunchtime.  He opened up his lunch satchel to find a bologna sandwich!  He scooped it out and devoured it.  Having such a fancy lunch was a special treat.  At the end of a long workweek there would be no eating out in a restaurant.  His family couldn’t afford such luxuries, and they lived 100 miles away from the big city of Memphis.  No, life was simple back then.  No TV and no telephone, only the endless fun to be had outside on a huge farm with an abundance of siblings.  And so it continued as it began, life on the farm; born to his mother in their home in Lukesville, MO.

He continued to grow up a small town boy, thriving in Steele middle and high school as a member of the band.  He played the tuba with perfection, receiving a lyre award. He would graduate and marry a beautiful young woman named Betty.  They would have four children, their baby boy being my father.  Life has changed a lot from when my Paw was a boy, but one thing remains the same his love for his family.  I am thankful for the lessons he has taught me directly and through my dad. 

Although his life may seem too simple and humble for many, he looks back on it fondly with this quote, “It was burgers, and fries, and cherry pies. Life was good back then.” Maybe there is something to be said for a simpler life.